When the pandemic hit in 2020, it forced significant others into enclosed spaces with no escape for months. In turn, the number of domestic violence cases rose just over 8% during the lockdowns. Partners could not get away from one another, triggers arose, and violence ensued. Unfortunately, the cycle of domestic violence is incredibly hard to break without the right tools – and even more so if the couple is determined to stay together.
De-escalating the Situation
One of the most effective ways to avoid violence during a disagreement is to try and de-escalate the conflict. But de-escalation is much more than saying, “Calm down.” If you have ever been told to “calm down” during an argument, you know how much that request can backfire.
To effectively de-escalate a situation, listen to the other person's concerns and offer comments that show you heard them. Try and maintain appropriate eye contact to connect with your partner and nod to confirm you are listing and understanding. Make sure you control your tone and body language and try to shift the conversation to the future, helping them solve problems rather than finding fault in the issue.
Resolve the Conflict. Don't Try to Win.
Another thing to remember when trying to resolve a conflict is that the goal is to resolve the conflict, not win the argument. Most people avoid confrontation at all costs, but confrontation isn't always bad. Confrontation tends to be beneficial and will help the couple grow and strengthen their relationship. In domestic violence cases, though, one or both parties are unable to confront one another without the other being triggered or feeling defensive. To ensure you are maintaining your relationship, treat your partner with respect and dignity.
Other ways to resolve conflicts without trying to win the argument include:
- Picking your battles and not fighting over every little thing that upsets you.
- Have a time limit for your argument, and don't let them go beyond that cap.
- Instead of naming all the things your partner has ever “done wrong,” focus only on this issue and what is bothering you.
- Leave sarcasm out of the conversation.
- Having consistent and effective coping skills outside of your relationship.
How a Defense Attorney Can Help
All people fight and argue, but most conflicts do not dissolve into instances of domestic violence. If you or someone you love is stuck in a domestic violence cycle, the best way to maintain your relationship and your safety is to learn how to resolve the conflict effectively. Additionally, if you are unable to resolve these issues, Attorney Joseph D. Lento and Lento Law Firm's Criminal Defense Team can help.
Attorney Lento and Lento Law Firm's Criminal Defense Team have spent years helping New Jersey residents seeking defenses for domestic violence charges. They understand how nuanced these cases can be and will work tirelessly to ensure the best possible outcome for your case. Call 888-535-3686 today or schedule a consultation online.